MF Doom is up to his old tricks again.

To the uninitiated, MF Doom has a habit of not showing up to his own concerts and sending lip-syncing impostors in a mask in his place.  As he treks across North America with Mos Def on tour, he’s pulled no-shows in Chicago and LA, prompting outrage from the crowd and re-igniting the debate that continues to swirl around his shoddy attendance record at his own concerts.  Even at the shows he did show up for, like in Toronto, the sets started hours late and were riddled with technical difficulties and, yes, impostor sightings before he took the stage.  I myself was a victim at Rock the Bells in San Bernardino in 2008.  Granted, I wasn’t there to see him specifically, but it would have been nice to hear “America’s Most Blunted” live.  As anyone who’s been to Rock the Bells in San Bernardino in August can tell you, it’s a long day and a big investment of time, energy, and money.  Factor in the overpriced water and 110-degree weather, and you’ve got a crowd of people who want to see a SHOW, not a bum onstage with his hypemen.  The Doom impostor and his cronies deserved each and every vulgarity hurled at them from the crowd that night.

So why does he do it?  Doom’s camp maintains the company line of “He’s a supervillain, that’s what he does, that’s his character.”  Doom apologists will point to his antics and call it art.  Unfortunately, the “art” excuse is one of the laziest and most insulting cop-outs I’ve ever heard.

Some people hide behind “art” as an excuse to do whatever they want. People take feces and put it on a canvas (with gloves I hope). Ta-da! Art!  I killed someone and used their entrails as my medium. Ta-da! Supervillain! I told someone I was going to be somewhere, and I didn’t show up, wasting their time and money. Ta-da! Art!

I’ll be the first in line to say it’s original. Few, if any, rappers would take the time to create this character.  His appropriation of Doctor Doom’s character from the Fantastic Four comic books and the integration of that character into his albums is an awesome concept.  However, when you mess with your fans’ time and money, that’s from where the issue arises. That’s crossing a line and breaking a trust with your fans. And if you alienate fans, what do you have left? Artists make most of their money touring these days.  And if/when Doom realizes that his character is costing him paper, he might even start showing up to his shows. But it might be too late, people will stop coming and he might show up to an empty auditorium and look like the rapper who cried wolf.  And if that wasn’t enough, his shenanigans have caused venues to stop booking hip-hop acts, a point that was addressed in an open letter to Doom by Kno of CunninLynguists:

“See, people don’t buy much music anymore. Touring is what allows artists who aren’t supervillainous children of Latverian gypsies bent on world domination to meet our fans, fuel our art and put money into our projects and pockets. As part of an “indie” act that operates in the same ever-narrowing circles as you, I can definitely say the ability to book proper gigs with reputable promoters and venue operators is becoming more and more scarce by the month, especially with the poor reputation live hip-hop has for professionalism and punctuality as well as the economic woes of many venues and agencies. The recession is a sumbitch. So, if any artist pisses off these promoters, fans or venue owners then ultimately they are fucking with my money.”

Make no mistake; MF Doom is one of the most interesting characters hip-hop has ever seen.  Madvillainy and MM…Food are two of my absolute favorite albums.  One listen to his albums, and it’s apparent that he’s very creative, and even the villain persona is very creative in and of itself. He’s also stumbled upon a fantastic marketing tool, as you can tell because you’re reading this article.  His fans are incredibly loyal, some to the point of fanaticism and irrationality (ever read the comments on a MF Doom album review on OkayPlayer?  It’s a zoo!).  But his strategy of cultivating this villain persona is incredibly short-sighted, not to mention immoral.

Perhaps his greatest mistake is painting himself a certain way that it makes it almost impossible to change without backlash from his loyalists.  IF he turns over a new leaf and starts showing up prepared, on-time, and energetic, what happens to his fans who loved his supervillain routine?  I can imagine a Doom loyalist now, asking him, “Why are you showing up for your own show? What? You need the money? Sellout!”  And don’t think that that conversation is completely outside the realm of reality.  Not showing up to his shows is a major facet of his supervillain image.  If he forgoes that key element of this supervillain thing, he loses the persona altogether.

So as Doom goes about his quest on lip-syncing his way to world domination, perhaps his biggest contribution to my daily life is not the joy Madvillainy brings to my ears, but a new idea on my quest to make money without working hard.  I’m going to pretend to be his manager, book a show at a club, post flyers, blow up Facebook/Twitter/blogs for the gig, and invite every Doom fanatic I know who loves his supervillain shtick.  My roommate will be on my laptop going through my MF Doom iTunes playlist as I throw on a metal mask and lip-sync for 30 minutes in front of a bunch of people who are saying, “Gee I’m glad Doom sent an impostor, he’s a real artist! Supervillain!”  It will be the easiest dollar I’ve ever made, and I’d like to thank you suckers in advance.  And if you think Doom isn’t in at least a similar mindset, I’ve got a ticket I’d like to sell you.