David Guetta Is The Worst

At this point you might be wondering why I even did this. Like, what’s the point of bashing dude on Potholes when we’ve never posted his music? Well, we did once, sort of. Anyway, to that I say: Why the fuck not?

Kind of want to make a “David Guetta Is The Worst” Potholes post.

— Andrew Martin (@Andrew_J_Martin) May 12, 2012

So I did.

But that’s not all! Potholes’ own John Healey wanted to contribute, too:

A few days ago I saw a tweet come through my timeline and after a brief exchange it was established that not only do Potholes contributors all like good music, we all hate David Guetta. I mean, is there really any argument that he’s not awful? David Guetta is the worst.

For all intents and purposes though, he’s the  “World’s Best DJ” according to DJ Mag, so strictly by numbers, he’s the “best”. But if this video is any indication, even the kind of person who likes cornball electronic can’t stand him. That seems like a reasonable reaction though, given Guetta’s formula for success: watered down electronica + random pop star (good or bad, he doesn’t care) = chart-conquering monster. I mean without vocals his productions sound like some awful contribution to a Totally Dance Hits 2012 compilation you’d find on a clearance rack at Best Buy next to a Now CD from six years ago.

His music should be the stock music for a cheap nightclub commercial or the background noise to an 8-Minute Abs workout video, not the world’s pop music.

Maybe it’s his songs that irritate me, maybe it’s his fans, or maybe it was that fucking abomination of a performance at this years Grammy’s. Most likely it’s a mix of all of those. I could rant for days about his music, but it seems kind of pointless. Regardless of the reason, the conclusion is still the same: David Guetta is the fucking worst.

In case you’re wondering why we flipped out like this, here are our reasons.

1. We were very bored.
2. This new Chris Brown/David Guetta song, “Don’t Wake Me Up”. Oh, if only that were the case.